Coping during COVID19
You don’t need me to tell you that these are unprecedented times. It doesn’t matter to what degree you’ve been affected by this pandemic, whatever you’re feeling, it’s valid. And if you’re struggling right now, well, that makes a lot of sense. With so much loss and so many unknowns, we are collectively experiencing grief, anxiety and anger like never before.
If you’re having trouble dealing. This is for you.
1) Be kind to yourself. First things first. If youre having trouble coping right now, COOL, welcome to the club. In times of turmoil and extreme stress, what we need more than anything else is to be gentle with ourselves. If you’re lacking in energy, having trouble focusing, or find yourself crying more often than usual, these are pretty normal responses to all thats going on. Holding yourself to high standards right now isn’t fair to yourself. It’s okay If you skipped a workout or three. It’s okay if you slept for 14 hours. It’s okay if you’ve lost your temper with your kids. Shaming yourself isn’t helpful. You will find your way again.
2) Deal with feelings, paired with mindful self-soothing. Chronic suppression or denial of emotion always catches up with us. It’s important to give yourself space to deal with the myriad of feelings that are probably coming up for you. This may look like regular journaling, meditation, or just partaking in a good cry. That being said, sometimes being with our feelings can quickly become overwhelming (especially if you’ve not had any practice). Moving between experiencing our feelings and engaging in mindful distraction or avoidance, is a safer more gentle way of doing the brave work of dealing with our emotions. Even being able to acknowledge to yourself “this feels too big for me to deal with right now, and is why i need to Netflix binge Tiger King, eat more than usual, sleep etc.” is a way of removing unhelpful judgment as you do the best you can.
3) Find a sense of safety. Our nervous systems are constantly attuning to signals of danger or safety. When your brain and body feel unsafe, you may notice a sense of increased anxiety, irritability, restlessness or racing thoughts (this is a “fight/flight response”). On the other hand, many people are struggling more with a loss of motivation, feeling disconnected, foggy or shut down (“freeze response”.) These are all manifestations of a nervous system that feels unsafe. Identify what triggers a lack of inner safety ( maybe things like being constantly tuned into the pandemic news, worrying about things not within your control, or having a lack of structure to your day) as well as what brings about feelings of safety (yoga, mindful walking, the perfect song, a hug from a loved one, comforting food etc.) always return to the question “how can I help myself feel safe in this moment?”
3) notice “catastrophizing”. let me start by saying, I absolutely know these are difficult times. Very real and hard changes and losses are happening for so many people. But it’s important that we are able to recognize what’s really happening in any given moment, versus when our brains are catastrophizing- that is- assuming or predicting the worst case scenarios. It’s natural that in a time where there are so many unknowns, that our brains try to fill in the blanks (usually with those worst case scenarios). Notice when your mind is headed in that direction, and redirect your attention to something in the present moment that helps you feel grounded and safe.
These are the skills I myself have been leaning on as I navigate this new normal during the Corona virus pandemic. I encourage you to do the same, and pay attention to what works for you. As always, if you’re in cleveland and in need of extra support in implementing these skills don’t hesitate to reach out.
At my Cleveland heights therapy practice I help adults overcome issues related to: